How I Found My Inner Inspiration
Written By: Yelena Bregman
My story of inner inspiration isn't pretty. I wish I could say that I just woke up one day and suddenly was ready. I wish it was that easy, to finally do all of the things that I have been told to do my whole life. If I only listened to my mom when she told me I should start loving myself. If I had only listened to my sister who said I need to take care of my health and drink celery juice in the mornings to change my gut microbiome. In fact, just as I am writing this she calls me up to share her newest smoothie recipe with me. I can hear the big smile on her face across the phone as she exclaims about her newest combo of spirulina and a large amount of almond butter for a glorious concoction. In turn, I share with her that today was my Day 10 of working out consistently and I had done it in the early morning hours, long before the pitter patter of little feet came running down the hall into the kitchen filled with the allure of coffee and toast. I have realized that when I take the time to build my peace in the morning, I can handle the chaos better later on.
Once upon a time, not that long ago, there lived a little girl inside of a woman's body who harbored all of her anxiety and resentment as a security blanket from the world. When she felt alone, she would use the dark memories of her past to hide the scars that she insisted on holding on to. People kept telling her she wasn't strong enough, so she listened. They kept telling her she wasn't athletic enough, so she stayed away from exercise and sports. They kept telling her the dreams of her childhood needed to be left at the bottom of the sock drawer in her room and so she locked away another part of her soul that used to make her sing.
As you may have guessed by now, that woman used to be me. I am no longer her and she now only exists in distant memories in a far away land that was ruled by fear and depression. There came a day when everything came crashing down on me, a self-fulfilling prophecy that I was lured into with subsequent lab tests and endless doctor visits.
Slowly I began to rebuild my walls to hide again; but then something stopped me. My parents told me to put the walls down; no one was going to hurt me unless I was going to allow them to. My father reminded me that I was capable of starting my own business and he believed in me. My mother told me that she always knew I would be an entrepreneur. My husband took my hand and said that it was time I put the portable plinth to use and start up my mobile practice. He bought it for me when I was just starting out in PT school. He saw the me in the future even while the old me continued to attempt to sabotage every opportunity.
In eight days, I will be celebrating Inspiration Physical Therapy PLLC's 2nd Birthday! But how did I truly find the inspiration within? I began my practice of meditation, daily journaling of gratitude and rewiring my subconscious brain of all the negative self-limiting beliefs. I reopened the drawer that held the pieces of my soul that I was trying to dissolve; but they were still there. Waiting for me. People ask me all the time how in the world do I have the time and energy to be a mom, a business woman and still have time to pursue my passion of performing?
The truth is that I am most complete when I surrender to all of the pieces that make me who I am. I am filled with energy and gratitude from my quality time with my children and husband, working out, healing my patients with my one on one approach and also performing. Whoever told us that we have to pick and choose only one thing to do in this life? They were wrong. Some of the most influential people have their own business, books, shows, podcasts and endless new opportunities that they create for themselves.
I am researching and reading countless books and articles that all say that our Mindset is Everything. We are the creators of our life, of our reality. We attract what we want through the very vibration of our being.
So what is the simple answer to how did I find my inner inspiration? I cleaned and organized myself from the inside out and threw out bags of garbage that were weighing me down. There is always more to organize as I continue on my journey of growth, love and expansion; but I will always leave an extra shelf for my Big Dreams!